1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:03,169
Drew: GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2
00:00:03,189 --> 00:00:06,129
AND WELCOME
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3
00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:09,080
ON TONIGHT'S SHOW -- "MAY I SEE
YOUR LICENSE?" WAYNE BRADY.

4
00:00:09,099 --> 00:00:12,009
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST
YOU WERE GOING?" CHIP ESTEN.

5
00:00:12,029 --> 00:00:14,210
"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN
SILENT" COLIN MOCHRIE.

6
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:17,089
AND "OH, YOU'LL TALK"
RYAN STILES!

7
00:00:17,109 --> 00:00:20,219
I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.
COME ON DOWN.

8
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,050
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,109
♪ DA-DA DA-DA-DA ♪

10
00:00:27,129 --> 00:00:30,199
YES, HELLO.

11
00:00:34,189 --> 00:00:36,030
I DON'T GET IT, EITHER.

12
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WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE
IS IT ANYWAY?",

13
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THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING
IS MADE UP,

14
00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:42,170
AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

15
00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:46,149
YEP, JUST LIKE THE POLICE
DEPARTMENT IN COLOMBIA.

16
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:49,070
OUR PERFORMERS MAKE UP
EVERYTHING YOU SEE

17
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,219
RIGHT ON THE SPOT HERE

18
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,219
BASED ON SUGGESTIONS
FROM THE AUDIENCE

19
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,289
AND THINGS WRITTEN
ON THESE CARDS.

20
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:57,270
THEY'VE NEVER SEEN
THESE SUGGESTIONS.

21
00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:59,289
AT THE END,
WE PICK A WINNER.

22
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,289
THE WINNER GETS TO DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

23
00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:03,140
THE LOSER GETS TWO TRIPS

24
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,109
ABOARD THE BEAUTIFUL
QUEEN MARY.

25
00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:08,049
NOT THE BOAT,
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW...

26
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,140
WE'RE DOING
THE BEST WE CAN.

27
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SO --

28
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HA HA HA HA.

29
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LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.

30
00:01:19,019 --> 00:01:21,280
LET'S START IT OFF
WITH "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

31
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,140
THIS IS ALL FOUR.

32
00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:25,140
CHIP, YOU'RE APPEARING
ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW,

33
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:28,120
AND RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE
ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE

34
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YOU GET TO CHOOSE FROM.

35
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WE'VE GIVEN THEM EACH

36
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A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC
OR IDENTITY.

37
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:38,120
CHIP'S GOING TO TRY
TO ESTABLISH WHO THEY ARE.

38
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,270
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY,
CHIP, OFF YOU GO.

39
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,120
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
HI, HOW ARE YOU?

40
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:48,210
HEY, DUDE.

41
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,229
[ IMITATES KENNY ]

42
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:56,229
YEAH, DUDE, THAT'S FUNNY.

43
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,030
WOW. EDGY.

44
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,209
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,
I'M REALLY DRUNK RIGHT NOW.

45
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,060
IF YOU WERE A DRINK,

46
00:02:05,079 --> 00:02:07,260
WHAT KIND OF DRINK
WOULD YOU BE?

47
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,129
DRINK.

48
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:15,169
I'M NOT TELLING YOU
ANYTHING!

49
00:02:15,189 --> 00:02:18,039
NOTHING! YOU'RE INHUMAN!

50
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,030
[ SOBBING ]

51
00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:21,139
SHUT UP.

52
00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:24,110
Chip: BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,
IF YOU WERE IN A ZOO,

53
00:02:24,129 --> 00:02:26,129
WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL
WOULD YOU BE,

54
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,189
AND WHY?

55
00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:37,020
WELL, I CAN'T REALLY
TELL YOU,

56
00:02:37,039 --> 00:02:39,120
OR THAT WOULD RUIN
THE WHOLE THING,

57
00:02:39,139 --> 00:02:41,180
BUT I'D LOVE
A DATE WITH YOU,

58
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AND I'D JUST EAT YOU UP.

59
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MYSTERIOUS.
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

60
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,090
YOU SEEM LIKE
A REALLY FUN KIND OF GUY.

61
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:51,079
WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME
ON A DATE?

62
00:02:51,099 --> 00:02:53,079
[ Imitating Cartman ]
I DON'T KNOW.

63
00:02:53,099 --> 00:02:56,079
I MIGHT TAKE YOU TO GO
GET SOME CHEESY POOFS.

64
00:02:56,099 --> 00:02:57,280
I DON'T KNOW.

65
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,120
[ Imitating Chef ]
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

66
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:03,099
♪ I MIGHT WANT TO TAKE YOU
DOWN TO THE LAKE SIDE ♪

67
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,030
♪ I WANT TO TAKE YOU
DOWN, BABY ♪

68
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:10,199
LET'S GO, CHILDREN.
HA HA HA HA.

69
00:03:10,219 --> 00:03:12,199
YOU SOUND DOUBLE-DREAMY.

70
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:15,219
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO...

71
00:03:18,289 --> 00:03:20,060
IF WE GET MARRIED,

72
00:03:20,079 --> 00:03:23,060
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE
A LOT OF CHILDREN?

73
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:26,219
YOU KNOW I CAN'T ANYMORE!

74
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,069
[ GROANS ]

75
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,259
[ MAKES SIZZLING SOUND ]

76
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,069
AAH! AAH!

77
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:37,210
AAH!

78
00:03:40,079 --> 00:03:43,039
Wayne: OH, MY GOD,

79
00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,259
THEY KILLED
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO!

80
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:58,289
WELL, WHOEVER I CHOOSE,
YOU PEOPLE CAN PARTY.

81
00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:01,090
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,
WOULD YOU MAKE

82
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:04,189
A GOOD PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATE, AND WHY?

83
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:07,229
OH, I THINK I'D MAKE
THE BEST PRESID--

84
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:27,100
[ BUZZER ]

85
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,029
ALL RIGHT, CHIP --
HA HA HA HA.

86
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,170
GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

87
00:04:41,189 --> 00:04:43,019
OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER ONE

88
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,110
IS THE ENTIRE CAST
OF "SOUTH PARK."

89
00:04:45,129 --> 00:04:46,230
YES.

90
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,279
I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU GUESSED IT.

91
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,050
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT GAVE IT AWAY.

92
00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,159
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO
IS A TORTURE VICTIM.

93
00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:55,170
YES.

94
00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,209
BETTER THAN THAT,

95
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,110
HE'S A MEDIEVAL
TORTURE VICTIM.

96
00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:00,269
UH-HUH. TWIST.

97
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,009
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE
IS A...VULTURE?

98
00:05:04,029 --> 00:05:05,160
YES.

99
00:05:14,089 --> 00:05:16,060
1,000 POINTS,
EACH OF YOU.

100
00:05:16,079 --> 00:05:18,060
HEY, REMEMBER
WHEN THESE POINTS

101
00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:20,259
USED TO BE WORTH
SOMETHING?

102
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,139
LET'S GO ON TO A GAME

103
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,149
CALLED "3-HEADED
BROADWAY STARS."

104
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:27,139
THIS IS FOR WAYNE,
COLIN, AND RYAN,

105
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,240
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR.

106
00:05:31,259 --> 00:05:33,259
THEY'RE GOING
TO PRETEND TO BE

107
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,019
A STRANGE
3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR.

108
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,180
THEY'RE GOING TO SING
A BROADWAY HIT.

109
00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:41,110
THEY HAVE TO MAKE UP
THE SONG ONE WORD AT A TIME,

110
00:05:41,129 --> 00:05:43,019
EACH SINGING
ONLY ONE WORD.

111
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,120
WHAT WE NEED

112
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:46,209
IS THE SUGGESTION
OF AN UNLIKELY MUSICAL.

113
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,170
[ SHOUTING ]

114
00:05:48,189 --> 00:05:49,290
WHAT?

115
00:05:50,009 --> 00:05:52,009
"LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."

116
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,259
NOW, GIVE ME THE TITLE
OF THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG

117
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,259
FROM "LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."

118
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,180
"TIMBER."

119
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:05,290
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO SING
THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG

120
00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:08,009
ONE WORD AT A TIME --

121
00:06:08,029 --> 00:06:10,209
"TIMBER,"
FROM "LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."

122
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:12,129
TAKE IT AWAY.

123
00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,060
♪ TREES ♪

124
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,209
♪ FALL ♪

125
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,009
♪ DOWN ♪

126
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:24,009
♪ MY ♪

127
00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:25,009
♪ JOB ♪

128
00:06:25,029 --> 00:06:26,009
♪ IS ♪

129
00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,009
♪ TO ♪

130
00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:28,009
♪ LET ♪

131
00:06:28,029 --> 00:06:29,000
♪ THEM ♪

132
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:30,259
♪ DROWN ♪

133
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,009
♪ EVERY ♪

134
00:06:32,029 --> 00:06:33,060
♪ DAY ♪

135
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:34,060
♪ I ♪

136
00:06:34,079 --> 00:06:35,110
♪ WONDER ♪

137
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,209
♪ WHY ♪

138
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,209
♪ AND ♪

139
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,209
♪ I ♪

140
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,209
♪ CUT ♪

141
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,209
♪ DOWN ♪

142
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,009
♪ THOSE ♪

143
00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:44,269
♪ LUMBER ♪

144
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:47,019
♪ TIMBER ♪

145
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,009
♪ I ♪

146
00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:51,159
♪ SHOUT ♪

147
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,220
♪ USING ♪

148
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,220
♪ MY ♪

149
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,220
♪ MOUTH ♪

150
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,220
♪ TO ♪

151
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,019
♪ SCREAM ♪

152
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,159
♪ YOU ♪

153
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,220
♪ LAUGH ♪

154
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,250
♪ AT ♪

155
00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:04,000
♪ ME ♪

156
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:04,290
♪ BUT ♪

157
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,000
♪ I ♪

158
00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:07,000
♪ DON'T ♪

159
00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:07,290
♪ CARE ♪

160
00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:09,000
♪ IF ♪

161
00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,000
♪ YOU ♪

162
00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:12,050
♪ SEE ♪

163
00:07:12,069 --> 00:07:13,199
♪ TIMBER ♪

164
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,100
♪ TIMBER ♪

165
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,209
♪ TIMBER ♪

166
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,009
♪ CRUSHING ♪

167
00:07:20,029 --> 00:07:21,060
♪ PEOPLE ♪

168
00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:22,110
♪ IS ♪

169
00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:23,209
♪ ITS ♪

170
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:26,060
♪ REWARD ♪

171
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,110
♪ WOULD ♪

172
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:28,160
♪ YOU ♪

173
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,149
♪ LIKE ♪

174
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:30,160
♪ TO ♪

175
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:31,149
♪ BRING ♪

176
00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:32,159
♪ A ♪

177
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:33,149
♪ SWORD? ♪

178
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,159
♪ I ♪

179
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,149
♪ WANT ♪

180
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,159
♪ TO ♪

181
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,159
♪ LET ♪

182
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:38,159
♪ YOU ♪

183
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:39,159
♪ SLICE ♪

184
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:43,009
♪ MY ♪

185
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:46,159
♪ LUMBER ♪

186
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:49,170
♪ TIMBER ♪

187
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:50,269
♪ IS ♪

188
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,220
♪ LOVE ♪

189
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,220
♪ AND ♪

190
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,220
♪ EVERY ♪

191
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,220
♪ ONE ♪

192
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,220
♪ LOVES ♪

193
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,269
♪ YOU ♪

194
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:01,100
♪ STEVE ♪

195
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,250
♪ MY ♪

196
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:04,100
♪ ONLY ♪

197
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,100
♪ WISH ♪

198
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,199
♪ COULD ♪

199
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,250
♪ BE ♪

200
00:08:08,269 --> 00:08:10,050
♪ TO ♪

201
00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:11,100
♪ HOLD ♪

202
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,050
♪ YOU ♪

203
00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:18,100
♪ CLOSE ♪

204
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,009
[ BUZZER ]

205
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:31,000
400 POINTS
TO EACH OF YOUR WIVES

206
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:33,070
FOR STICKING WITH YOU.

207
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:36,070
WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE
WITH A GAME CALLED "PROPS."

208
00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:39,009
DIVIDE INTO TWO GROUPS --
RYAN AND CHIP,

209
00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:40,210
COLIN AND WAYNE.

210
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:43,009
RYAN AND CHIP,
THIS IS YOUR PROP.

211
00:08:43,029 --> 00:08:44,169
DINK. SORRY. DINK.

212
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,139
OH, MAN, THIS IS HEAVY.

213
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,019
THIS IS YOUR PROP
RIGHT HERE.

214
00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:51,159
AND ANOTHER.
YOU NEED TWO OF THEM.

215
00:08:51,179 --> 00:08:54,169
RYAN AND CHIP, COME UP
WITH AS MANY GOOD IDEAS

216
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:56,259
FOR THESE PROPS
AS YOU CAN.

217
00:08:56,279 --> 00:09:00,049
YEAH, ANOTHER DAY,
AND I THINK I'LL POP IT.

218
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:02,029
[ BUZZER ]

219
00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:05,059
NOBODY'S GOING FOR THIS
PEPTO-BISMOL ON A STICK.

220
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080
SELL IT!

221
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,080
CLEAR!

222
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,159
[ BUZZER ]

223
00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,200
SOMEBODY STOP ME!

224
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,210
[ BUZZER ]

225
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,100
TODAY WE BURY MADONNA.

226
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,049
[ BUZZER ]

227
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:30,009
[ Imitating Archie Bunker ]
JEEZ, MEATHEAD,

228
00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:33,110
DON'T YOU SEE I'M SITTING
IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR?

229
00:09:33,129 --> 00:09:36,019
[ BUZZER ]

230
00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:38,210
SO, YOU COME HERE OFTEN?

231
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,210
NO, I LIKE WOMEN!

232
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,120
[ BUZZER ]

233
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:47,259
I REALLY THOUGHT
IT WOULD HELP MY CAREER.

234
00:09:47,279 --> 00:09:50,090
[ BUZZER ]

235
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:54,019
GET A LOAD OF HER!
WHOA!

236
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:55,240
[ BUZZER ]

237
00:09:55,259 --> 00:09:58,210
JACOB SAYS WE MUST HAVE
THE MILK CHURNED

238
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,110
BY THE MORNING.

239
00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:02,000
[ BUZZER ]

240
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,019
APPARENTLY HORTON
HEARD A HOO.

241
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:05,120
REALLY?

242
00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:06,220
YEAH.

243
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,289
[ BUZZER ]

244
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:09,269
[ CACKLING ]

245
00:10:09,289 --> 00:10:11,269
STUPID BABOON.

246
00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:14,159
[ BUZZER ]

247
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,250
LEIA, WHERE ARE YOU, LEIA?

248
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,019
[ BUZZER ]

249
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:23,000
THAT'S ENOUGH RIGHT THERE.

250
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:24,169
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

251
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,000
WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE
IS IT ANYWAY?"

252
00:10:31,259 --> 00:10:34,250
HEY, WELCOME BACK TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

253
00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:37,279
THE SHOW WHERE
EVERYTHING'S MADE UP,

254
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,279
AND THE POINTS
DON'T MATTER,

255
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,029
JUST LIKE THE WORD
"INTERNATIONAL"

256
00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:44,169
IN INTERNATIONAL
HOUSE OF PANCAKES.

257
00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:47,200
NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME
CALLED "STAND, SIT, LIE."

258
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,009
THIS IS FOR RYAN,
COLIN, AND WAYNE.

259
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:52,029
THEY'RE GOING
TO MAKE UP A SCENE.

260
00:10:52,049 --> 00:10:54,129
ONE MUST BE STANDING,
ONE MUST BE SITTING,

261
00:10:54,149 --> 00:10:56,120
ONE MUST ALWAYS BE
LYING DOWN.

262
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:59,100
IF ANYONE CHANGES
THE POSITIONS,

263
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,179
THE OTHER ONES HAVE
TO MAKE IT UP FOR THEM.

264
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,070
IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHO'S LAYING DOWN.

265
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:07,059
GO AHEAD AND PICK ONE.

266
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,070
I AM OLDER.

267
00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:12,169
THE SCENE IS THREE CAMPERS
ARE PREPARING FOR BED

268
00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:16,070
IN THE WOODS
ON THE NIGHT OF A FULL --

269
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:21,190
OH, NO. THE SCENE IS...

270
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:23,190
WAYNE HAS TALKED
HER BOYFRIEND COLIN

271
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,230
INTO COMING
INTO RYAN'S TATTOO PARLOR.

272
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,230
Wayne: HER?

273
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,000
YES, HER BOYFRIEND.

274
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:30,210
WAYNE HAS TALKED
HER BOYFRIEND COLIN

275
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:32,210
INTO COMING
TO RYAN'S TATTOO PARLOR.

276
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,210
Wayne: HONEY,
DON'T YOU FEEL GOOD

277
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,090
THAT I TALKED YOU INTO
COMING TO THIS TATTOO PARLOR?

278
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:40,149
I'D RATHER BE CAMPING
UNDER A FULL MOON.

279
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,190
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH A TATTOO.

280
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:48,220
YOU WANT A BAR CODE
ON HERE?

281
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,000
NO, I DON'T WANT
A BAR CODE!

282
00:11:51,019 --> 00:11:52,179
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

283
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,179
I'VE GOT A BAR CODE HERE
AND A UPC SYMBOL.

284
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,029
I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

285
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,129
WHY ARE YOU UPSET?
WE'RE PAYING YOU!

286
00:11:59,149 --> 00:12:01,259
I CAN'T HANDLE
MUCH MORE OF THIS.

287
00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:03,259
DON'T YELL
AT THE TATTOO MAN.

288
00:12:03,279 --> 00:12:05,259
HE'S GIVING US
A DISCOUNT.

289
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:07,210
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE ONE.

290
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,210
WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A DISCOUNT?

291
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:11,059
YOU DID ON THE PHONE.

292
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,210
I CERTAINLY DID NOT
SAY ANYTHING

293
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,070
ABOUT A DISCOUNT.

294
00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:18,070
I NEVER GIVE DISCOUNTS.
THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS.

295
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,210
SO, I'M LYING?
OH, NO, NO, NO. OH, NO.

296
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:24,169
MY HUSBAND -- BOYFRIEND,
SOON TO BE HUSBAND --

297
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:27,169
WANTS A TATTOO,
AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM ONE

298
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:30,169
AT A DISCOUNTED RATE,
OR I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE

299
00:12:30,190 --> 00:12:32,120
THAT YOUR
TATTOO PARLOR SUCKS.

300
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:34,139
IT DOESN'T SUCK.

301
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,120
OH, MY GOD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

302
00:12:38,139 --> 00:12:40,070
HONEY! HONEY, GET UP!

303
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,269
HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

304
00:12:41,289 --> 00:12:43,269
YOU TOOK
A NASTY FALL THERE.

305
00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:46,220
IT'S JUST THE THOUGHT
OF GETTING A TATTOO

306
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,049
MAKES ME FAINT.

307
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:51,029
I GOT ONE OF THESE
EASY ZIPPO TATTOO THINGS.

308
00:12:51,049 --> 00:12:52,149
THERE YOU GO.

309
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:54,029
THAT'S AMAZING.

310
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:56,019
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS YOUR NAME.

311
00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:59,029
I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SO --

312
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,240
[ SOBBING ]

313
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,240
OH, STOP --

314
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:06,139
[ BUZZER ]

315
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:14,019
ANOTHER MILLION POINTS
FOR EVERYBODY.

316
00:13:14,039 --> 00:13:16,059
I GOT A LOT
OF POINTS TODAY.

317
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,039
I BOUGHT THEM
AT THE PRICE CLUB.

318
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:22,120
NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME
CALLED "GREATEST HITS."

319
00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:24,200
THIS IS
FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU

320
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,019
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL,

321
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,240
LINDA TAYLOR,
AND ANNA WANSELIUS.

322
00:13:29,259 --> 00:13:33,059
ANNA WANSELIUS.

323
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,080
LINDA TAYLOR,
LAURA HALL.

324
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,100
COLIN AND RYAN,
YOU'RE TV VOICEOVER GUYS

325
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,070
TALKING ABOUT THE LATEST
COMPILATION ALBUM,

326
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,259
AND THEN THEY'RE GOING
TO MAKE UP NAMES OF SONGS.

327
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,090
WAYNE AND CHIP ARE GOING
TO SING THE SONGS.

328
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,169
WHAT WE NEED
FROM THE AUDIENCE

329
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:50,149
IS SOMETHING YOU'D LOOK
TO FIND IN THE YELLOW PAGES.

330
00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:54,070
DENTISTS. SOUNDS LIKE
A GREAT ONE. DENTISTS.

331
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,289
LET'S HEAR THE ALBUM.

332
00:13:57,009 --> 00:14:00,110
THE ALBUM IS
"SONGS OF THE DENTIST."

333
00:14:00,129 --> 00:14:03,110
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
TO OUR NATURE DOCUMENTARY --

334
00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:06,210
"LIPPY, THE LEMMING
WITH AN ALTERNATE LIFESTYLE,"

335
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:08,110
IN JUST A SECOND.

336
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:11,159
YOU KNOW, COLIN, NOBODY LIKES
TO GO TO THE DENTIST,

337
00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:14,159
BUT IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE
EASIER WHILE LISTENING

338
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:17,159
TO OUR 3-CD SET
WITH "SONGS OF THE DENTIST."

339
00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:19,159
OH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

340
00:14:19,179 --> 00:14:21,009
NO, I'M NOT.

341
00:14:21,029 --> 00:14:23,259
THERE ARE SONGS
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

342
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,210
ON THIS, INCLUDING
THAT NUMBER-ONE SALSA HIT

343
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:29,019
"JUST SAY NO...VOCAIN."

344
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:31,120
[ PLAYING SALSA MUSIC ]

345
00:14:31,139 --> 00:14:32,279
Wayne: OOH-HA!

346
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,190
WHOO!

347
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,110
[ Spanish accent ]
♪ BEFORE YOU PUT ♪

348
00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:45,120
♪ THE DRILL IN MY MOUTH,
DON'T BE DUMB ♪

349
00:14:45,139 --> 00:14:48,019
♪ YOU BETTER USE
A LOT OF NOVOCAIN ♪

350
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:50,279
♪ TO MAKE MY GUMS NUMB ♪

351
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,279
♪ 'CAUSE IF IT HURTS
VERY MUCH, OUT I MUST PASS ♪

352
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,090
♪ OOH ♪

353
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:59,259
♪ AND I DON'T WANT
ANY OF YOUR LAUGHING GAS ♪

354
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:01,259
♪ SO SAY, NOVOCAIN ♪

355
00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:04,259
♪ WHEN YOU ARE
FEELING PAIN ♪

356
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,159
♪ OH, JUST SAY
NO-NO-NO-NO ♪

357
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:10,259
♪ NOVOCAIN ♪

358
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:17,049
BOY, THIS IS A GREAT
SELECTION OF SONGS, COLIN.

359
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:20,179
WELL, WE WOULDN'T BE
SELLING IT IF IT WAS BAD.

360
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,159
NEIL DIAMOND, NEIL YOUNG,
PAUL McCARTNEY --

361
00:15:27,179 --> 00:15:29,259
THOSE ARE JUST
SOME OF THE NAMES

362
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:31,110
OF GUYS WHO CAN SING.

363
00:15:31,129 --> 00:15:34,059
BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITES
WHO'S ACTUALLY ON THIS ALBUM

364
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,019
IS THE INCREDIBLE
WILSON PICKETT,

365
00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:38,259
AND OF COURSE
THAT GREAT HIT OF HIS,

366
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,139
"IT HAS TO COME OUT."

367
00:15:40,159 --> 00:15:41,289
[ PLAYING SOUL MUSIC ]

368
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,059
♪ HUH ♪

369
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,159
♪ OW ♪

370
00:15:44,179 --> 00:15:46,259
ALL RIGHT, NOW!

371
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,190
WHOO!

372
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:51,169
♪ HEY, NOW, I TOOK A TRIP
TO THE DENTIST ♪

373
00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:53,220
♪ I DON'T LIKE HIM
THE BEST ♪

374
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,220
♪ BUT I HAD TO MAKE
A VISIT ♪

375
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,220
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD AN ABSCESS ♪

376
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,210
♪ MY LITTLE FILLINGS
ARE RUSTED ♪

377
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:05,019
♪ AND THAT'S WHY HE HAD
TO PULL MY BICUSPID ♪

378
00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:08,110
♪ OH, IT HAD TO COME OUT ♪

379
00:16:08,129 --> 00:16:10,100
♪ COME ON, NOW ♪

380
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,139
AAH!

381
00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:14,090
OW!

382
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:16,159
♪ I SAID,
IT HAD TO COME OUT ♪

383
00:16:16,179 --> 00:16:18,110
♪ HERE WE GO NOW ♪

384
00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:20,110
♪ I TRIED TO USE
A DOORKNOB ♪

385
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:22,059
♪ AN ANVIL FOR GRAVITY ♪

386
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,149
♪ LORD, TRY TO HELP ME
PULL THAT TOOTH ♪

387
00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,009
♪ 'CAUSE OF THE CAVITY ♪

388
00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:29,210
♪ OH, MY DENTIST REALLY WORKED,
HE REALLY WAS A TRYER ♪

389
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:33,139
♪ FIRST HE TRIED TO DRILL,
AND THEN HE TRIED THE PLIERS ♪

390
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,159
♪ OH, HE MADE ME
SCREAM AND SHOUT ♪

391
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:38,110
♪ LORD, IT'S GOT
TO COME OUT ♪

392
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:41,009
♪ LORD, IT'S GOT
TO COME OUT ♪

393
00:16:41,029 --> 00:16:43,190
♪ BABY, BABY,
THERE AIN'T NO DOUBT ♪

394
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,279
OOH, OW.

395
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,169
BOY.

396
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:55,169
THAT SONG NEVER FAILS
TO BRING A TEAR

397
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,190
TO MY STOMACH LINING.

398
00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:02,049
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
HEAVY METAL.

399
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,269
OH.

400
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:06,279
ONE OF MY -- WELL,
IT'S NOT MY FAVORITE,

401
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,200
BUT I LIKE IT.

402
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:11,099
IT'S THAT
HEAVY METAL CLASSIC

403
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,089
"I AIN'T WEARIN'
NO BRACES."

404
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:16,190
[ HEAVY METAL PLAYING ]

405
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,160
♪ NOW LOOK AT ME ♪

406
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,160
♪ I LIKE TO EAT MEAT ♪

407
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,160
♪ I EAT MEAT ♪

408
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:33,059
♪ I THINK RED MEAT --
IT'S A REALLY GOOD TREAT ♪

409
00:17:33,079 --> 00:17:36,059
♪ I'M IN A LOT
OF PAIN, YEAH ♪

410
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:39,049
♪ I SHOULD WEAR
MY RETAINER ♪

411
00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:43,109
♪ I SHOULD WEAR BRACES --
YEAH, YEAH ♪

412
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,009
♪ I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ♪

413
00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:47,009
♪ WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LOOK AT ♪

414
00:17:47,029 --> 00:17:48,220
♪ I REALLY DON'T CARE ♪

415
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,119
♪ IF MY TWO FRONT TEETH
ARE CROOKED, YEAH ♪

416
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:53,119
♪ I DON'T WANT
TO JUST LOOK AT HIM ♪

417
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,140
♪ HIS MOLARS ARE FULL
OF ALUMIN-IMIUM ♪

418
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:00,119
YEAH!

419
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:03,000
YEAH!

420
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:04,130
YEAH!

421
00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:18,099
[ BUZZER ]

422
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,009
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

423
00:18:29,029 --> 00:18:30,079
TO FIND OUT
WHO THE WINNER IS.

424
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:38,140
WELCOME BACK
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

425
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,079
TONIGHT'S WINNER --
WAYNE BRADY.

426
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,279
SO, HE'S GOING TO SIT
AT THE DESK.

427
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,009
THE REST OF US
ARE GOING TO DO A HOEDOWN.

428
00:18:46,029 --> 00:18:48,220
YEAH!

429
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,130
YEAH, WE'RE GOING
TO DO A HOEDOWN.

430
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:54,130
WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE
IS A SUGGESTION

431
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:57,140
OF A TYPE OR GROUP
OF PEOPLE YOU HATE.

432
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,019
[ SHOUTING ]

433
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,289
NO, CAR SALESMAN.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

434
00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:05,069
THE CAR SALESMAN HOEDOWN --
THAT'S A GOOD ONE --

435
00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:08,049
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

436
00:19:08,069 --> 00:19:10,200
LET'S DO
THE CAR SALESMAN HOEDOWN.

437
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,289
Chip: YEE-HAW!

438
00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:18,190
TULSA, OKLAHOMA,
SALUTE!

439
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:23,119
♪ I WENT DOWN
TO MY DEALERSHIP ♪

440
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:25,119
♪ I TRIED TO BUY A CAR ♪

441
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:28,279
♪ HE TRIED TO SELL A LEMON,
BUT HE DIDN'T GET TOO FAR ♪

442
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,130
♪ I FOUND A LOT OF STEALS
AND I FOUND A LOT OF DEALS ♪

443
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,130
♪ AND THEN I BOUGHT
A PINTO ♪

444
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:37,099
♪ BUT IT DIDN'T HAVE
NO WHEELS ♪

445
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:43,079
♪ WELL, I WANTED A CHEVY,
BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GET BORED ♪

446
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,279
♪ AND THEN I THOUGHT,
MAYBE A MERCURY ♪

447
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,279
♪ MAYBE I'LL GET ME A FORD ♪

448
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,230
♪ BUT WHEN IT CAME DOWN TO IT,
I DIDN'T MAKE A FUSS ♪

449
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:53,000
♪ 'CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
ANY MONEY, ANYWAY ♪

450
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,019
♪ SO I'LL JUST TAKE THE BUS ♪

451
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,140
♪ I MET A CAR SALESMAN,
HE DIDN'T HAVE NO ETHICS ♪

452
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,240
♪ AND I BELIEVED
HIS EVERY LIE ♪

453
00:20:07,259 --> 00:20:09,240
♪ IT REALLY WAS PATHETIC ♪

454
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:13,089
♪ HE DID HORRIBLE THINGS
THAT NO GOOD MAN EVER SHOULD ♪

455
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,289
♪ I CAME HOME EARLY ♪

456
00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:18,039
♪ FOUND HIM CHECKING
UNDER MY WIFE'S HOOD ♪

457
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:24,089
♪ OH, BOY, THOSE GERMAN CARS,
DO THEY COST BIG BUCKS ♪

458
00:20:24,109 --> 00:20:27,289
♪ I LOOKED AT THE PRICE TAG,
AND I AM FULL OF YUKS ♪

459
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:31,089
♪ OH, THOSE PORSCHES,
MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE OTHERS ♪

460
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:33,039
♪ UNLESS YOU'RE DREW CAREY ♪

461
00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:35,210
♪ AND GET IT FREE
FROM WARNER BROTHERS ♪

462
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:40,099
♪ BROTHERS ♪

463
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,259
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS.

464
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,220
HEY, WELCOME BACK
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

465
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,289
WE'RE GOING TO END
THE SHOW TONIGHT

466
00:20:52,009 --> 00:20:53,240
WITH COLIN
READING THE CREDITS.

467
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,019
READ THE CREDITS

468
00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:57,029
LIKE AN ANGRY
SCHOOL BUS DRIVER.

469
00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,029
THANKS FOR WATCHING,
EVERYBODY.

470
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,069
DAN PATTERSON,
SIT DOWN!

471
00:21:01,089 --> 00:21:04,000
I TOLD YOU ALREADY
TO SIT DOWN!

472
00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:07,099
DENISE O'DONOGHUE,
DON'T YOU SPIT GUM!

473
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,009
I CAN'T SEE,
YOU IDIOT KIDS!

474
00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:12,009
SIT BACK! BACK! BACK!

475
00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:14,009
I MEAN YOU, BRUCE RYAN!

476
00:21:14,029 --> 00:21:16,009
I MEAN YOU,
KEITH RICHMOND!

477
00:21:16,029 --> 00:21:18,009
ALL RIGHT, OUT OF THE BUS!

478
00:21:18,029 --> 00:21:21,009
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM!

479
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,009
I'M THROWING YOU
OUT OF THE BUS!

480
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:26,099
OUT! OUT!

481
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,099
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

482
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,019
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC.
AND WARNER BROS. INC.